Are you worthy? The lies and price of merit
“You deserve to be happy”, “you deserve a break” and many countless other phrases that we have running in our heads dictating whether we deserve something or not. It is based on a fixed ideal and goal that if or when re reach it, we can be rewarded. This notion is so engrained in pretty much all cultures in the world that we do not notice nor question it. Yet, what if the price we pay to abide by its rules is far greater than the rewards we hope to get?
Being a bright young kid who thought he had all the answers and gifts of wit and pragmatism, I set out early in life to get it all right, to beat the odds. I was self-employed at the age of 17 and within 2 years had four employees. I practiced Buddhism every day meditating to be sure to get the answers and guidance to lead the pack. I set out to achieve it all, the jobs, the kids, the travels with fiends looking at me saying ”I don’t know how you do it!”, pushing to build a life and looking for the recognition I knew I deserved. The fact is, it never mattered whether I achieved it or not since there was always a driving fear in me that I would fail, be alone and destitute, worthless no matter what I did. The truth is, I always felt like I was missing something, like something was off and there was something much greater that was possible yet always out of reach.
I learned of the approach of Access Consciousness 3 years ago and it rocked my world to its core and proposed a totally new way to look at life. What if there is no getting it right? Are you willing to give that up and for the trade off to be you, just YOU like a shining star warts and all, different and with a full spectrum of possibilities at your disposal? Is that too farfetched from this reality to even consider? Well, choice by choice and bit by bit, I have rebuilt my life on more true bases where instead of the madness of the mind to get me right, I go to question and space and wonder about what is possible and available. Instead of the insanity of pleasing everyone to get their approval like an addiction that has no end to it, I choose to be uncomfortable at times when I rock the boat for others and choose kindness as my compass. If none of this makes any sense or if it rings true but you are not sure how to make it happen, don’t fret. It is beyond the mind’s limited capacity to grasp, so you are on the right track.
Here are a few tips that you can do to continue your journey to happiness:
- Be clear when you function from being right, ask questions (don’t look for the answer), be present with the space and choose. That will create a different reality for you;
- Trust that only YOU know what works for you, and look at your life with wonder, letting go of definitions that can only maintain the sameness that is not fulfilling;
- Get your Bars run by a Bars Practioner. A Bars session really clears the chatter of the monkey mind bit by big bit, and leaves more space and peace of mind. Why not give it a serious try?
- Get your butt to an Access class like a Bars class to learn some awesome tools and processes to bypass the mind and take a shortcut to your awareness that is your only true compass in life. The alternative is to run your life on logic, and that does not lead to happiness;
I have always known that life is grand and glorious, and that I have something to contribute to others. I stopped believing in this thinking I had to be deserving and seeing myself failing at it, making me small and wrong as the ultimate price. Now I know better and it takes all my courage to acknowledge that it is really up to me to have my back and take me forward in my life and know that THAT is the glory of it all. I am so grateful to you and everyone who have shown me a multitude of different ways to be in the world, and I get to plant my own seeds and watch me grow. Be you, the world is ready for your flavor.
I have been an Access Certified Facilitator at the Choice for the past 5 years, now based in Montreal at the Consciousness Center. Prior to that, I worked in international development for 2 decades wanting to make a difference in the world and alleviate poverty. Access Consciousnssess has provided me with the approach and the tools to change me and the world, without making it wrong, by listening, exploring what is possible at each moment and choosing to be more of me each day. I give sessions and facilitate classes for Access Bars, Body Process and Energetic Facelift and the Foundation. I hope to have the honor of meeting you, and for our lives to connect and transform. Thank you for being YOU, the difference in the world!